(Source: -swell, via rose-colouredworld)

Behind this smile.

is a million thoughts. Behind this smile i’m fighting depression. I’m fighting loneliness. And i’ve lost the battle to fight for what kept me going. I’ve given up the sport that I love most, the sport I turn to in times like these. My second “family”. But what I didn’t know, was that “family” didn’t turn out to be a family at all.

I watched my dad break down. I watched tears fall down his face as people stood there and watched as it was nothing. I hugged him like it would make a difference. It tears me apart knowing what he’s been forced to give up, and what i’ve been pushed to give up as well. I am lonely. I am broken inside. No one bothers to ask me whats going on, or if they do I can tell they don’t truly care. When all I really need is a hug. Someone to inform me that there is life beyond soccer, even though thats all i’ve ever known. Two out of eighteen girls told me they will miss me. Two.

two.

These emotions i’m experiencing are terrible and I am tired. I am tired of pretending I am okay. I am tired of pretending like nothing is wrong. When really, I can’t think of many things that areright.

‘Rae of sunshine’? I don’t even know how to be that girl anymore..

Geez. I’m ready for summer.

Sorry tumblr followers for unloading all my emotional thoughts.

Awe, thank you (:

(via macyreyna)

(via nowletmeblowyourmind)

(via nowletmeblowyourmind)

(Source: paranormal-, via veeronicuh)

Feeling invisible, is the absolute worst feeling.